The Power of No

You've probably heard about the power of YES. Jim Carey made a movie called Yes Man in which he decided to say only yes to requests people made of him. This turned out to be a far braver endeavor than he had counted on, as his life started moving in new directions and new connections. The YES factor caused his life to expand in unpredictable ways that somehow all came together in the end. So YES has power and unpredictability, so it tends to lead to raised eyebrows and secret desire to be that yes person. People are attracted to YES, even if they think they would never say it.

Now, NO is an entirely different energy. I experienced it tonight at the fair with my friend. I had some crazy idea for how to make something happen. I told her my plan which was kind of a crazy idea that I'm sure needed some thought, some brainstorming or perhaps someone to kindly throw it into the trash. But what I got instead from her was a NO. It sounded like:"Okay, sure, go ahead and do it, " meaning "You won't catch ME doing that." My first thought was where can I go to scream into my towel.

NO makes you want to scream. NO stops things. NO has the ring of finality to it, the built-in judgment that (in this case) nothing would come of my idea and it was just silly.

Don't get me wrong; I have uttered my share of NOs. When I am raining on someone's parade with a shower of little No's or a downpour of bigger NO's I am almost always in fear. How often have you heard someone say "I'm afraid not?"

Fear is to NO what love is to possibility. And possibility is the outer most expression of YES.

So how does NO go to YES in the soonest possible moment? Letting go of NO means kicking out fear. That's the first thing. Then moving to YES requires faith that there is actually less suffering in YES than in NO. Then it requires swallowing the built-up judgments and old beliefs that have justified that NO for so long.

Here is what I'm telling myself: Walk away from NO. No is not an option. Find yes. If something is proposed and I cannot help or do it, then say YES, I can help you find someone who can do this with you.

Simple. If all the NO in the world were suddenly gone, we would have a far more interesting world to live in. I want to be part of that world. Don't you?

Goodnight, sleep well.