Bad Hair Day

In my opinion, the roots of a bad mood or "bad hair day" as Kalindi calls it, are these three things:

1. Comparisons

2. Discomfort of discomfort

3. Starving Children in China Syndrome

I am currently having a really bad hair day, so I know what I'm talking about here. I am in a bad mood. Don't get me started...

The first root of a bad mood is comparison. In order to be in a bad mood, you must compare NOW with some other, brighter moment when you were not in a bad mood. If you were to live completely in the present moment, you could not be in a bad mood because that would mean there is a "good" mood to compare with and, in the present moment, you would not recall the "good" mood. You would only know that you feel as you do. Call it the Zen of bad hair.

Second, bad moods are based on discomfort of some kind. For example, I did not get enough sleep in the past 5 days. So I am clumsy, forgetful and irritable. I generally feel that I am being unfairly treated and misunderstood. The problem with this is that I am uncomfortable with this kind of discomfort. I think I should not be uncomfortable. So I think I should not be how I am. Now that is crazy and it contributes to the severity and duration of my bad mood.

Third is the Starving Children in China Syndrome. You may know this syndrome. It begins in childhood when you are sitting at the dinner table not wanting to eat your peas. This happened to me numerous times as I did not like peas. My Mom would say, "Eat your peas, Susan. Think of the starving children in China. They have no peas." And of course my response (echoed by my brothers and sister) would be, "Then send THEM the peas!"

This Starving Children in China Syndrome compounds a bad mood. (A.) I am in a bad mood. (B.) I think I should not be in a bad mood. I don't deserve this bad mood. After all, there are people who get far less sleep than I did. But here I am, in a bad mood nevertheless. Probably if I could accept my bad mood and just enjoy it, it would go away quicker. But no, I feel bad and then I also feel bad about feeling bad.

What I'm describing is the illusion at work. To deny or judge what is so -- is so dumb. So now I'm preaching to myself, and hopefully you will find it helpful or at least entertaining:

• We all have bad hair days -- even Kalindi.

• Judging yourself is one of the 10 No's, so don't do it. Opposite of judging is accepting therefore, accept the bad mood. Enjoy it in the privacy of your own room.

• If you have to do something about it, scream into a towel.

• Change what you can, and let go of everything else.

• The one who suffers most during your bad mood is you. Everyone else with any sense heads for the hills.

These are my words of wisdom. Now I'm going to get some sleep and hope for the best tomorrow.