Gee, Thanks

Today for me is about saying thank you. It cheers me up to remember things I'm grateful for. Know what I mean? So here are some of the things I'm grateful for:

• Kalindi and, by meeting her, discovering the deeper meaning of my life

• Having tools from Miracle of Love that help me get free from suffering

• My husband, beautiful daughters, their husbands, my sister and brothers, my mom and step-dad, ex-husbands and their wives and kids -- I am related to the most amazing people and it is a big family, getting bigger all the time.

• My daughter is getting ready to have her first baby and she's happy

• My health is good (knock wood)

• My sense of humor is intact

• I get to live in Europe, Zurich in particular

• I always have what I need plus more

• I'm grateful for you, that you read my blog

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Gourasana.

Thank you, All That Is.

I wish you were here with me now so you could tell me what you're grateful for. I'd like to hear it.

Thank you and good night.

Shake it off

Yesterday I made a mistake. It wasn't an end-of-the-world mistake, but it did cause some chaos and upset that was avoidable. Sigh.

My official position about mistakes is that I hate them and avoid them. This is the same position that approximately 100% of the people I know take. I think most of the people I don't know take this position as well.

A teacher of mine used to say that mistakes are the quickest way to learn. He told the story of a vice president at a Fortune 500 company who made a $3 million mistake on the job. The VP promptly went to the CEO to submit his resignation. The CEO said to him, "You can't resign. I just made a $3 million investment in your training!"

So from that point of view, it's good to make mistakes if you want to learn fast. Celebrate your mistakes! But really, we're just not going to do that.

David Swanson said about mistakes that it's okay to make them as long as you learn from them. So you just make a mistake once. (Someday people will know who David Swanson was, but for now let me just say that he was the man who made Gourasana's incarnation possible.)

The only good thing about repeating a mistake is that you know when to cringe. I read that quote somewhere.

So let's be honest. Mistakes suck - despite all these great things people say about them. It's feels kind of like taking a punch to the face. So like a boxer, you just have to shake it off and hope that none of your teeth are loose.

Not one wise person ever says to dwell on the mistakes you've made. You want to admit the mistake, get the benefit and then move on -- to your next mistake.

And lastly I include a quote from The Lady* because I think she says it all:

You can't do it right, you can't get it wrong, you can only let go.

Thank you for listening and good night.

* You can read more of The Lady's beautiful prayers and quotes at http://www.theladyinprayer.org/

Go Toward the Light

Remember the movie Ghost? Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg? Remember the part about going toward the light? When the bad guys died, they were hunted down by scary dark shadow creatures and when Patrick Swayze (the good guy) died, he was encouraged to go toward the light (especially by Whoppi Goldberg). But in the movie Patrick Swayze decided to postpone the Light so he could take care of Demi Moore and tell her that he loved her instead of saying "Ditto." He finally did go to the Light, though somewhat reluctantly. His reluctance kind of bugged me, because I don't believe for a second that someone who died would delay going into the Light. But that's just me.

While we're on the subject of that movie, one more thing I didn't buy was the scary dark shadow creatures that hunted down the dead bad guys. Come on. Would God make scary dark shadow creatures? One of these days I'll download a video for you of Kalindi talking about the Beautiful Gem. You'll like that because it blows up this "if you're bad, you will go to hell" idea. I think that anyone and everyone who dies goes toward the Light. They get to come back and try again, but they also get to be in the Light. A God with that policy is the one I endorse.

Anyway, the point is that going toward the Light is a good thing to do, even if you're not dead. What is the Light? I would say it is the truest part of yourself, the feeling of being connected with God, love, truth, letting go and having a good attitude. Oh, and having a sense of humor and sense of compassion. These are all "Light" things to go toward.

The closer you get to these "Light" things, the more light can hold. But if you spend too much time on the negative stuff or on trying to fix something you think is wrong with you, it starts to feel like those scary shadow creatures are after you.

So, go toward the Light, Grasshopper. And have a nice evening.

True Self

There are certain things I do well. I like to think of these things as my "special gifts." My thinking about this goes back to early Bible classes at St. Paul's Methodist Church where I learned that you shouldn't bury your talents in the ground or hide your light under a bushel. Those Bible stories are powerful metaphors and I'm glad I learned them. The point is, I have special gifts that God can use for His purposes if I don't bury them or put them under a bushel. I like that.

These are some of my special gifts: listening to people and encouraging their growth, organizing and reorganizing stuff with amazing speed and agility, starting new projects and inspiring others to participate and being a natural leader (some people call this "bossy" but I think that's a little negative, don't you?). I'm not bragging, I'm just saying...

So what are your special gifts? Everyone has some and it's good to know what they are. We spend so much time criticizing ourselves, it's helpful to remember and be able to speak about what we do well.

As a coach I help people realize and strengthen their special gifts. As a spiritual seeker I am grateful for these gifts, but I know they aren't the whole story. What I'm most interested in is my true self.

My true self is the "me but not me" that's been around forever. It's the deepest part that is always connected with God. It's the small, still voice inside that I can hear when I'm calm. It's the "me, but not me" that's being uncovered as I let go of attachments and limiting beliefs and all that other stuff that causes suffering.

Here's what Gourasana says about the true self:

Your true self is not a being like any you have experienced.

There is no question of not liking yourself;

you will have nothing but unlimited love for yourself.

I don't know the difference between true self and soul. I'll leave that to the philosophers. All I know is that I am always looking for truth, so it figures I would be finding some. And it figures that there's an always-truer expression of my self. The truer it gets the less fettered and encumbered it is. That's where I'm going and with God's grace I will keep finding more. Seek and ye shall find, right?

Good luck to you. Even when self-discovery gets difficult and all you can see is where you are not sufficient, remember who you really are and smile. That's where you're heading.

Antidote to Fear

I will sit in a stuffy room instead of opening the window because I'm afraid bugs will fly in (no window screens in Switzerland) or I do my chores around the house because I'm afraid if I don't someone will criticize me or I choose my words carefully to explain something for fear that someone will notice that I'm angry.

Do you make decisions based on fear?

I don't think that making decisions based on fear is all bad, but I do think that making ALL decisions based on fear is bad. Fear shrinks us. When I'm afraid, I'm driven back into myself. I am turned away from liveliness, spontaneity, creativity and trust. Trust is lost and I feel that I can rely only on myself. Love makes us bigger. When I'm at my best, I am driven forward by a natural ability to love.

When you are in the course of your daily affairs, pay attention to see if you are coming from a place of love or a place of fear. And I will tell you, everything traces back to one of those two things. Fear is the driving force in this plane.** -- Jim St. James

Jim says to simply ask yourself if it is love or fear that is motivating you right now. All too often I would have to answer that for me it's fear. For a whole month I observed the ways that fear motivated me. I was shocked to realize that almost every decision I've made in my life has been based on fear.

Jim says that fear is the driving force in this plane. Why else would love be such a pleasant surprise when it happens? When I see someone on a crowded bus giving up their seat for an older person, I am touched. There are many acts of kindness I'm sure, but I am more sure that fear is the predominant factor in most behaviors I observe in others and in myself. Love is a cause one must fight for.

All I can do about this is change myself. The antidote to fear is trust: trust God, trust myself, trust the flow. Fear has its place, but if it is in the driver's seat, the car can't make much progress.

Love rises above everything. It is a risk worth taking. It is worth fighting for inside myself. That's why I'm on a spiritual path. That's why I'm glad I have a master who can point the way to Love.

Goodnight and thank you for listening.

** This quote is from a chapter in Kalindi's book, The Break-Free Message. (If this book is available, I highly recommend that you get it. Check on http://www.miracle.org.)

Bad Hair Day

In my opinion, the roots of a bad mood or "bad hair day" as Kalindi calls it, are these three things:

1. Comparisons

2. Discomfort of discomfort

3. Starving Children in China Syndrome

I am currently having a really bad hair day, so I know what I'm talking about here. I am in a bad mood. Don't get me started...

The first root of a bad mood is comparison. In order to be in a bad mood, you must compare NOW with some other, brighter moment when you were not in a bad mood. If you were to live completely in the present moment, you could not be in a bad mood because that would mean there is a "good" mood to compare with and, in the present moment, you would not recall the "good" mood. You would only know that you feel as you do. Call it the Zen of bad hair.

Second, bad moods are based on discomfort of some kind. For example, I did not get enough sleep in the past 5 days. So I am clumsy, forgetful and irritable. I generally feel that I am being unfairly treated and misunderstood. The problem with this is that I am uncomfortable with this kind of discomfort. I think I should not be uncomfortable. So I think I should not be how I am. Now that is crazy and it contributes to the severity and duration of my bad mood.

Third is the Starving Children in China Syndrome. You may know this syndrome. It begins in childhood when you are sitting at the dinner table not wanting to eat your peas. This happened to me numerous times as I did not like peas. My Mom would say, "Eat your peas, Susan. Think of the starving children in China. They have no peas." And of course my response (echoed by my brothers and sister) would be, "Then send THEM the peas!"

This Starving Children in China Syndrome compounds a bad mood. (A.) I am in a bad mood. (B.) I think I should not be in a bad mood. I don't deserve this bad mood. After all, there are people who get far less sleep than I did. But here I am, in a bad mood nevertheless. Probably if I could accept my bad mood and just enjoy it, it would go away quicker. But no, I feel bad and then I also feel bad about feeling bad.

What I'm describing is the illusion at work. To deny or judge what is so -- is so dumb. So now I'm preaching to myself, and hopefully you will find it helpful or at least entertaining:

• We all have bad hair days -- even Kalindi.

• Judging yourself is one of the 10 No's, so don't do it. Opposite of judging is accepting therefore, accept the bad mood. Enjoy it in the privacy of your own room.

• If you have to do something about it, scream into a towel.

• Change what you can, and let go of everything else.

• The one who suffers most during your bad mood is you. Everyone else with any sense heads for the hills.

These are my words of wisdom. Now I'm going to get some sleep and hope for the best tomorrow.

Perception & the Power of Choice

My mother is one of those people who never complains. She's had a stroke and has to walk with a three-pronged cane or, more often lately, ride in a wheelchair. She wears a black sling because she cannot use her right arm or hand (and she was right-handed). Before her stroke she and my step-dad would walk miles each day. They loved to travel. After the stroke they moved into an assisted living apartment. They don't travel now because it's just too hard for mom.

The point is, If anyone ever had reason to complain, it's my mom.

But Mom doesn't complain. If you ask her how she's doing, she says, "I'm doing just fine. How are you doing?" My step-father answers the same question with, "Well, we're still here." He has a pretty down to earth approach to things. But you won't hear complaints at all. Even when she has to take three tries to stand up and get going. I'm always a little suspicious that even if something were really wrong with Mom, she would not tell me about it.

I asked her once why she never complains. She wrinkled her brow, looked at me funny and said, "Who'd want to listen to that?" Like it was some kind of crazy question. I said, "Well, no one wants to listen to it, but that doesn't stop most people from complaining." She shrugged her shoulders and that was the end of it.

We switch now to Jim St. James for an explanation. Jim is a wise man. He's consulted with businesses through Clarity Consultants and he writes books and teaches for Miracle of Love. Kalindi calls him the teacher of teachers. He is starting a college where you can take classes in spiritual advancement. And he has something to say about being a victim (or not) and the role perception plays.

Jim wrote a chapter called "Perception is King," in a book of collected talks by Kalindi. I wanted to share one of the things he said in that chapter. I think it explains my mom's lack of complaints.

The trick is to not accept the premise -- to reject the premise flat out -- that you are a victim. You are in a world where almost everything is not in your control. However, every single shred of how you choose to perceive a situation is totally within your control. Nobody forces you to perceive anything other than what you decide to perceive.

My mom didn't choose to have a stroke, but she chose not to be a victim about it. I wish I took after my mom a little bit more. I often find a way to complain about the extraordinary life I have. Remembering that I am always choosing helps me be stronger. Choice is strength. When I feel like a victim, I have forgotten my own choice and am making believe I'm at the mercy of someone else's choices. This is simply not true.

Blame-Free Living

I talked to a woman yesterday who's getting a divorce from her husband of 24 years. They've raised two sons, been in business together and have had what most would call a successful marriage. Until now. Now, for certain good reasons, they are getting divorced. And it's one of those nasty ones.

She talked about regretting the many compromises she made during her marriage. She felt as if she had betrayed herself by saying yes when she wanted to say no. I've heard this before from women who've gotten divorced and I said it myself during my first divorce. We get mad at ourselves for making compromises in order to keep our marriages going. It always looks like a bad idea after the fact. But what about during? Is it okay to make compromises or not?

This extends to living life in genera. I think it's a nice idea -- but only an idea -- that one can have a relationship or live life without compromises. If you think you don't make any compromises, you're kidding yourself. A small example: You want to go to the movies on Saturday and your mate wants to go hiking. So which do you do? It's a negotiation where neither will get exactly what he or she wants, but there is a payoff. It might look like you're sacrificing your movie, but what you get is a day with your mate. Not a bad bargain (assuming you like to be with your mate).

Of course there are bigger sacrifices we make in life. These are a bit trickier to deal with after the fact. The best and quickest route is to refrain from judging yourself or blaming anyone else for the sacrifices you make. There should be some kind of blame-free zone. Living life is hard enough without self-judgment and blame. And it's a lot harder to move on when you blame or judge. You did what you did based on the best information you had and so did the other person. Let go of the past. Have compassion for yourself. And learn what you need to learn.

The real question is, what are you going to do now?

Surrogates

Did you see the movie The Surrogates (2009) starring Bruce Willis? I'm not writing a film review here, but I do recommend this movie for two reasons:

#1 Bruce Willis stars in it, which is always a good thing. :-)

#2 The situation in the movie is a powerful spiritual metaphor.

I don't have much more to say about Bruce Willis at the moment, so will elaborate instead about this spiritual metaphor thing. I promise not to spoil the movie for you.

Here's the basic plot: In the future people own robots that look like themselves. These robots, called surrogates, are life-like and are designed so that the person can feel and taste and live life through the surrogate. The person sends his surrogate out while he himself sits in a "stim chair" from which he can direct the surrogate and feel all the things that happen through his surrogate. The idea is that it is safer to send your surrogate to the office than to go there yourself. There is almost no crime since people have started using surrogates and people supposedly have more fulfilling and fun lives. Through the surrogates, they can present a perfected, beautiful version of themselves and do whatever they want because they can't be hurt. The surrogates, by the way, are all pretty much gorgeous with no physical flaws. They either look like their "host" or not, but no one really cares because no one sees the host. He or she is at home sitting in the "stim chair" living life virtually.

All is well until there is trouble in paradise. Then the plot thickens and Bruce Willis does his thing -- first as a surrogate (smooth face, full head of hair) and then -- when his surrogate gets "killed" -- as himself (the scruffy Bruce Willis we all know).

After watching the movie, my spiritual metaphor-type question was: How often do I send my surrogate out instead of myself? How often do I sit in my "stim chair" holding myself out of the action and staying separate while my surrogate interacts. My surrogate, by the way, is happy, enthusiastic and always insists, if anyone asks, that it is okay. It smiles a lot, is quite pleasant and has a good sense of humor. Meanwhile I'm sitting in my chair not really noticing how I'm feeling or what's going on with me. Hmmm.

How about you? Do you have a surrogate? Whether you call it your personality or ego or false self, the surrogate is the face you show to the world. It keeps you (the real you) safe.

I'm not saying that we have to be brutally real all the time (like scruffy Bruce Willis), but that maybe we (I) need to pay more attention to the one in the stim chair.

Thank you for listening and good night.

Old Age & Ecstasy

So there I was today at the doctor's office, lying in the MRI magnetic tube thing. It is true that one can have spiritual realizations and deep experiences anywhere -- even in a magnetic tube with all that banging and weird noise.

The challenge for me in the tube was to be still. I am rarely still. So I started an internal chant and focused on my breathing and tried not to think about how difficult it was to swallow and how long 30 minutes is. Short story: I made it through the MRI scan without a scene and I don't have a brain tumor. :-)

But I did have a realization that I'm going to share with you. I realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't want to spend the next 30+ years of my life being tormented by the illusion. I may not have a brain tumor, but I'm not getting out of this life without my share of suffering. It's downhill from here and the last 30+ years will be a challenge. Gourasana has this to say about it:

Who does not suffer as they grow older? Look at the old people as their bodies begin to weaken and age. While young and in a relatively healthy state, people can sit back and pretend that they will not grow old and suffer. But as the organs begin to fail, as the brain begins to disintegrate, as real suffering and disease set in, those not on a spiritual path become devastated. The only way they can deal with old age and suffering is if they become mindless, unconscious perhaps senile. The suffering has become too great for them to bear. You see the trick of the illusion? Of course most fall for the trick. Most fall for the illusion. But for those on the spiritual path, the reality is that as they become older they are becoming more aware and have attained more real happiness. Ecstasy is there. You can see with these aware people that even in the midst of so-called suffering they are in states of ecstasy.

Gourasana also said:

The suffering is just an illusion, and you will become free from the suffering when you become free from the illusion.

So as far as I'm concerned, getting free from illusion now is the only way to go. Call me crazy, but I'd rather do the work of letting go now, then to postpone it until I'm too old, frail and cranky to do it.

Check out Kalindi. She's guiding people to freedom. Don't think she can't do it, because people are making it. She says the proof is in the pudding. So what the heck, check it out.

I am grateful to find out I don't have a brain tumor and even more grateful to have found Kalindi so I can become free from suffering. I want to be one of those aware, old folks in a state of ecstasy. Picture me at the senior home -- and come visit. Okay?

Thank you for listening and good night.

Feeling God

I want to write about feeling God just to see if I can do it. My first thought is that it's impossible. There are no words to describe a feeling of God. But there definitely is the experience.

I spoke to some Jesus girls recently. They were at an esoteric fair with about 18 of their friends. These 20 or so young people were talking to those who walked by their booth. I call the two girls I talked to "Jesus girls" because they were on fire for Jesus. They were young, spirited and idealistic. They obviously didn't just think about Jesus, they FELT him. But when I asked them when they had first felt or "experienced" Jesus, they both looked at me blankly. Don't know if it was a language translation problem or if they just had never thought about it before. Whatever the case, they moved on to quote a Bible verse about something else. I guess there are not any Bible verses about having an experience of Jesus.

My youngest brother had an actual experience of something he called the Holy Spirit. He was sitting in a car outside his church at the time, praying with another guy. He said all of a sudden he got a rush of energy -- very intense -- like nothing he'd ever felt before. He was afraid, but he kept on praying, which I think was a prudent response on his part. He became an ardent Christian and practiced Christianity ardently for a number of years. But that's another story for another day.

Back to experiencing God. I first had an undeniable experience of God in the Miracle of Love Seminar in April 1994. For me this experience was that I prayed fervently and my prayers were answered almost immediately. My prayers in meditations became a conversation between me and God. (This was before that book by Neale Donald Walsch.) As I was feeling things in my meditations, I would say, "Show me" and then He would show me. I actually saw videotapes of my childhood -- things I did not remember had happened. I went through the whole Seminar this way and it was only at the end of the Seminar that I realized with shock that I'd been having a conversation with God the whole time. I would have told you people can't converse with God; God is way too busy for that. It would be your imagination, I would have said. But I was wrong. God wasn't too busy and it was not my imagination. It was an experience from which I will never recover. Thank God.

In the almost 16 years since that first experience, I have felt God many times. I won't tell you I feel Him constantly. Some people say that, but I don't think they mean the kind of feeling I'm talking about. I mean being taken over, swept away, reduced to tears by God. I mean crying like crazy or screaming into a towel because the energy is so overpowering and knowing at the same time that there is nowhere you'd rather be and nothing else in the world you'd rather be doing than writhing on the floor in ecstasy. I've had the thought more than once, "If my family could see me now..."

Feeling God is not for the faint of heart. Kalindi's teachings are designed to catapult you into God. The aspect of God in particular that you fly into is Gourasana. The Jesus girls were not keen on the idea of Gourasana, a modern-day Incarnation of God. They quickly pointed out to me that Jesus is the only way: "See, it says so right here in the Bible!" But I have to say, if they could be open-minded and be fortunate enough to experience God through this Incarnation called Gourasana, their eyes would be on fire and probably their hair would catch on fire, too. I love Jesus, but I want the most powerful incarnation for this day and age. I'd like to be able to say some day that I truly feel God constantly. Stand there with my hair on fire and a great big smile on my face.

Well, I gave the description of feeling God my best shot. If you've experienced God, write a comment, okay? I'd love to hear from you.

Goodnight now.

Letting Go is the Way to Go

On the spiritual path you want to let go. Actually, if you want to live your life without so much suffering, you want to let go. So what does Let Go mean?

Here's what it doesn't mean:

• Not caring about someone else

• Pretending something doesn't bother you when it really does

• Dealing with a problem during your meditation instead of feeling the feelings that come up

An example of letting go would be this: You are mad at your friend but instead of confronting him when you're angry, you meditate first to release your anger before you talk to him about the matter. By the time you talk to him, you have already forgiven him and you are aware of your part in the situation. Maybe you still need to talk with him about something related to what you got mad about, but you aren't holding on to your anger and feeling like you're right and he's wrong, etc.

Letting go is such a relief.

Letting go is about forgiveness.

Letting go is moving from the material realm to the spiritual realm.

Letting go is sidestepping duality (right/wrong, happy/sad, smart/dumb).

Letting go is freedom.

I just read a powerful chapter in Kalindi's book, The Break-Free Message. The name of the chapter is "Don't Stop at the Most Crucial Time." Here's a quote from that chapter about what it feels like to let go:

If you get freaked out, get on the floor and scream. If you are sitting there and you think your head is going to burst open -- you can't take it -- then get on the floor and scream. Pray to Gourasana, because He is going to come and get you. This is what it feels like to let go.

I highly recommend letting go whenever you can. It does take some effort to really let go, but it is so worth it. If everyone let go, this world would be a completely different place. There couldn't be wars, because everyone would let go. There couldn't be nasty divorces, because everyone would let go. There couldn't be grudges, revenge, murders or detective novels. Wait, I like detective novels. Maybe there could still be some detective novels. We could read them and reminisce about when people used to murder people instead of letting go.

Well, I don't have to worry about it too much, because it's not very likely that everyone will start to let go in my lifetime, at least. But you can. And I can. And then the world can improve, one person at a time.

Good night.

Don't Make Me Laugh

I have a good sense of humor. Unless I'm really upset, I can see the funny side of almost everything. Now when I'm irritated or angry or lost in downtown Zurich, I have NO sense of humor. And just as a side note, don't try to tease me or make me laugh when I'm upset. This is a bad policy. My husband has tried it many times and it never works.

Back to my sense of humor. What I'm writing here is like a confession. Because on the serious spiritual path there is not a lot of room for silly humor. It somehow comes across as a lack of depth. Go figure. So I've learned to temper my humor by letting the funny comments and images fade away without ever being expressed.

And now that I'd like to write an example so you can see how funny I am, I can't think of a single thing. But trust me, I'm funny.

The reason a sense of humor is not so welcomed on a spiritual path is that it is usually used as a defense mechanism. I admit that the funniest things occur to me when I should be taking things most seriously. It's like in church when you're sitting by your sister and she says something funny. And you try really hard, but you just can't stop from laughing.

So the point is, even seemingly good things like a sense of humor can steer you wrong in spiritual transformation if you're not aware. But I do thank God that I can laugh. Just please let me stay deep so I can keep hearing the whispers of God.

Good night and keep smiling.

The Truth is the Truth

I don't think I'm right, but I don't think I'm wrong either. I was at a spiritual, new age type of fair in Zurich for about 7 hours today giving people chocolate hearts, handing out information about the Seminar, meditation classes and the meditation weekend, and mostly just talking to people about their spiritual paths or what they are looking for.

I am clear that I have my ideas about how fast spiritual movement can/should be, Gourasana as an Incarnation of God, Modern-Day Meditation and Kalindi as a spiritual master for the world. And I adhere to basic teachings from Kalindi and Gourasana such as these:

• Let go, give up, surrender

• Listen (to God), say yes and act

• Never give up

• You are not that being of illusion

• You can break free from the cycle of birth and death

These ideas and teachings have helped me personally to get closer to God, love and truth and to get freer each day from what binds me. But that doesn't mean I'm right and others I talk to about spirituality are wrong. Or that I'm wrong and they're right. Or that all of us are right or wrong.

A woman I talked to today at the fair who is into channeling, said it like this: "How could there be only one right path when there are so many different types of people?" I agree with her. Each of us finds the way the best -- and only -- way we can. I trust that we are all led by God and we find what we need.

So I'm not right, but I'm not wrong either. My ideas are as valid as anyone else's. Kalindi says the proof is in the pudding. I think you're never done, you don't "arrive," there's no finish line -- who knows? -- maybe not even after death.

The Truth does not exist in duality. In other words, there is no right or wrong Truth. The truth is the truth and you have to find it for yourself (or it isn't the truth). So good luck to you. Maybe we'll meet one day at a fair and get to talk about it. I hope so.

Good night.

The Power of No

You've probably heard about the power of YES. Jim Carey made a movie called Yes Man in which he decided to say only yes to requests people made of him. This turned out to be a far braver endeavor than he had counted on, as his life started moving in new directions and new connections. The YES factor caused his life to expand in unpredictable ways that somehow all came together in the end. So YES has power and unpredictability, so it tends to lead to raised eyebrows and secret desire to be that yes person. People are attracted to YES, even if they think they would never say it.

Now, NO is an entirely different energy. I experienced it tonight at the fair with my friend. I had some crazy idea for how to make something happen. I told her my plan which was kind of a crazy idea that I'm sure needed some thought, some brainstorming or perhaps someone to kindly throw it into the trash. But what I got instead from her was a NO. It sounded like:"Okay, sure, go ahead and do it, " meaning "You won't catch ME doing that." My first thought was where can I go to scream into my towel.

NO makes you want to scream. NO stops things. NO has the ring of finality to it, the built-in judgment that (in this case) nothing would come of my idea and it was just silly.

Don't get me wrong; I have uttered my share of NOs. When I am raining on someone's parade with a shower of little No's or a downpour of bigger NO's I am almost always in fear. How often have you heard someone say "I'm afraid not?"

Fear is to NO what love is to possibility. And possibility is the outer most expression of YES.

So how does NO go to YES in the soonest possible moment? Letting go of NO means kicking out fear. That's the first thing. Then moving to YES requires faith that there is actually less suffering in YES than in NO. Then it requires swallowing the built-up judgments and old beliefs that have justified that NO for so long.

Here is what I'm telling myself: Walk away from NO. No is not an option. Find yes. If something is proposed and I cannot help or do it, then say YES, I can help you find someone who can do this with you.

Simple. If all the NO in the world were suddenly gone, we would have a far more interesting world to live in. I want to be part of that world. Don't you?

Goodnight, sleep well.

Excitement of Silence

A friend wrote me an email telling me he was too busy to read other people's blogs and that he doubted that anyone had time to read his blog. He was making a case for not writing on his blog regularly. I found his reasoning rather negative, and realized I'm tired of that "I'm too busy" excuse. So I'd like to address it tonight. Unless you're too busy...

Are you too busy? Why? Inventions like the computer, cars and cell phones are supposed to save you time. My friend (who is too busy to write his blog) saved himself a 10-hour round trip drive by sending me an email instead of talking to me in person about it. He saved at least an hour by sending me an email instead of trying to call me on the phone, getting my voicemail and waiting for a call back.

We save so much time every day it's ridiculous. But we don't think of it that way. We adapt ourselves to time-saving devices as quickly as cockroaches. The minute we save some time, we immediately get more busy. Now I have more time! I can do more things! It's an addiction.

But it's not just the fault of time-saving devices. Speaking from my own experience, I can say that being busy keeps me from feeling things I don't want to feel. I am less uncomfortable when I'm busy. For me being bored (a.k.a. not busy) is about the worst thing there is. Way, way worse than being too busy. So I would say that I am addicted to busy-ness. When my husband asks me how I am, I respond by telling him what I'm doing. Do you do that or is it just me?

What would I do if I weren't busy? Do you hear how crazy that question is?

Okay, so what do I do about that? I think I will start by trying to write some sentences without the word "do" in them. Okay. If I were not so busy, I could sit quietly in a meditative state more often. I could pray. I could "be."

Some people are able to just be. I've heard of these people and how intoxicating it is to be in their presence. Me, I've learned only in the last several years how stay quiet instead of chattering to fill the silence. Staying quiet is a cousin to "being," so I am getting somewhere; I don't feel like a hopeless case. And the last thing I want to do is try to do more to not do so much. I cannot hope to improve myself this way.

The worst thing about being busy is that you can't hear God. The Lady, one of the spiritual masters in the Miracle of Love, says that we must listen for the whispers of God. If you're in a noisy restaurant or bar it's hard to hear someone whisper. But if you're in a quiet room and someone whispers, they can often be heard from quite a distance. So if God is whispering, you have to get quieter to hear Him.

Let the time-saving devices save you time. And with some of your saved time, just be. I want to discover the excitement of silence. I want to know that boredom is actually not possible if I am present in a moment.

So for heaven's sake, take some time to just be. And while you're at it, read people's blogs.

Thank you for taking time to read this.

Who You Really Are

What if you could become who you really are? Wait a minute...is that even possible? Aren't you already who you really are? Hmm. Yes, in a way we are who we really are and in another way, we aren't.

Take me for example. I have many of the same characteristics I had when I was 7 years old. I'm still bossy, still somewhat naive, still trying to do things right so I don't get in trouble and still wanting someone to protect me. It was my big brother, Jay Lee, who protected me when I was 7 (he was 9). Now it's my husband, Kurt.

But I don't think those characteristics define who I really am. Neither do my skills or appearance or roles in life. If that were all I am, why would I be searching for truth? Why would so many of us be trying to improve ourselves? Why would Wayne Dyer sell so many books? See, something's not right about who we are. There's an itch, a discomfort with settling for "This is who I am." Even if you can say it with conviction, some part of you still asks, "Really? This is it?" We want more, or less maybe. More depth and less bluster. More authenticity and less personality. More joy and less depression. More compassion and less anger. The list goes on.

But even if we could perfect this human form, even if we could become the best example of a human being (and who, might I ask, would be the judge of that?), would we really be satisfied?

I think not. We are never satisfied enough with ourselves. This suggests that we are not who we really are or that no amount of becoming better will ever be enough.

Kalindi says: You are not who you think you are; you are not that being of illusion.

If you're not that being of illusion made up of personality, ego, good & bad traits, habits, thoughts, opinions, etc., then who are you? For me, the answer is, "Heck, I don't know." But I want to find out.

The only solution to that problem is to go deeper.

Signing off now. Have a good night.